Almost… ALMOST… the weekend…

Sitting at school, reading the captions y’all left me. Fun stuff, laughed I did, thank you. It looks like Tony Pierce graced my comments. It’s cool to think of Tony reading my blog, but then I’m happy to know that YOU are reading (and YOU and YOU and YOU).

Happy to see the weekend is almost upon us. Not much planned, but then I take a great amount of pride in that these days. I’ll get two whole days with my baby and NFL Sunday.

On that happy note, let me once again take moment to recognize the folks in California who are not as fortunate as yours truly atm. Our prayers and happy thoughts are still with you, and no I’m not as fundamentalist as the crazy folks Melissa mentioned. (This story is a must read, oh the controversy, O the stupidity, I think I could scare that pastor straight no problem)

I am Jack’s sense of self…

CAPTION THIS PLEASE

Movie Review – Shogun Assassin

The Plot - A loyal samurai, Itto Ogami serves as the Shogun’s official decapitator and leader of his royal armies. The burden of such a position and the stress it causes is washed away every evening when Ogami returns home to his wife & son. As the years pass the Shogun is rumored to have gone mad and his once peaceful reign becomes a paranoid & bloodthirsty campaign. Ever watchful of his enemies, the Shogun’s eyes turn to Ogami. Although a loyal samurai, Ogami is the one man that doesn’t fear the Shogun and this angers him. To teach the samurai humility the Shogun sends ninja to kill Ogami’s wife & son. Their mission is only partly successful and as his wife dies in his arms Ogami swears vengeance on the Shogun and all who align themselves with him. From this moment forward he is no longer Itto Ogami… He is now the “Lone Wolf” – Assassin with son.

The Review – After seeing Kill Bill last weekend, I was reminded of this movie which I first saw with my father back in the early 80’s. Shogun Assassin is actually an Americanized version of the Lone Wolf movies series. This 80’s film splices together the first two Japanese films to create one kung-fu slasher epic. I have not seen the original series, but this version stands up fairly well on its own. I sat down to rewatch the film and while it doesn’t have Kill Bill’s cinematographic flash, there were definitely some great moments.

One of the things that makes this movie work is the narration as told by Ogami’s son Daigoro. Having a gruesome tale repeated by a child creates even more impact when you witness the events onscreen. Throughout the film Ogami hardly ever speaks and his brooding silence is offset by Daigoro’s animated curiosity. I marveled at the similarities in sword play between “The Bride” in Kill Bill and the “Lone Wolf”. I’d be willing to bet Tarantino saw Shogun Assassin at some point as the sword flick Uma uses to whisk the blood of her sword resembled Ogami’s technique. The fight scenes were as graphic (if not a little 80’s cheese) as they were in Kill Bill. You’ll see the same number of limbs severed, tomato red blood spurting and probably a few close-ups Tarantino didn’t get to use in his movie.

I can’t forget to mention the baby cart. Not just a traveling piece, the cart has spring loaded blades and detachable swords which Ogami uses in the movie. In fact, Daigoro is purposely put in harms way armed only with this baby cart. You’ll also see plenty of badass female ninja. In one scene entitled “The Interview” the leader of the Shogun’s ninja clan makes the mistake of questioning the ability of his female counterparts. I won’t give anything away, but it becomes quickly apparent the ladies have no problem cutting down the competition.

You’ll be hard pressed to find a quality copy of this film. While I own a it on DVD there are a lot of defects which lead me to believe the master reels were lost a long time ago. Still it’s worth noting the cinematography which stands out given the decade of the film. Like any good film there are little nuances that slip past you the first time you watch it. In one such scene Daigoro is captured and suspended above a well. There’s hardly any dialogue just a moment where Daigoro kicks off his shoe and lets it drop. Seconds after the shoes splashes, Ogami bursts into action killing all the ninja. It hadn’t occurred to me until I watched the film again that Ogami uses the shoe falling to time the distance of the well. The scene is a powerful one, but very subtle in its delivery.

Well, needless to say I’m a fan of the film, but where does that leave the average viewer? Like Kill Bill, I think this film is appreciated by a certain audience. If you’re a kung-fu buff or want to get an idea of where some of Kill Bill’s inspiration may have come from or you simply want to be amazed by a samurai that fights with a child strapped to his back then this movie is for you.

Grade: A-/B+ (The movie targets a very specific audience and I’d be happier if I could find a quality DVD copy)

Gator IS Spyware

Hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend, I know mine felt fairly productive and I even got to sleep some. Caught Kill Bill (but y’all know that) also managed to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (which I’ll review here later). As this is another brief lunchtime update I wanted to point out a few items that you should checkout around the `net:

Da Goddess gives us a closeup view of what the California forest fires are like. Her pictures are as amazing as they are serious in topic and while I envy her camera prowess, I don’t know if I’d want to live that close to all the action. I’m sending prayers & happy thoughts her way and hope that the disaster can be contained.

Jason has a new layout & review up. I’m happy that it was a rap band he eviscerated and not me as I don’t ever want to hear my name and the word “flaccid” used again in the same sentence. *chuckle*

Mr. Perry’s new website No Blood, No Foul is set to launch this evening. Be sure to show up for the premiere as I’m betting it will be a must-see Net event.

Ryan (The Ward) pointed out this story I somehow missed recently. In fact, he had to post it in invisible ink because Gator lawyers think they can strong arm anyone. It seems Gator Corporation doesn’t like their SPYWARE being called spyware. Apparently, they’re taking advantage of the fact that our judicial system is clueless when it comes to technology and suing anyone who dares to refuse the term “adware” when talking about their products. Well guess what?

Gator is spyware, Gator IS spyware, Gator is SPYWARE, Gator manufactures nothing but spyware products.

Gator is spyware, Gator IS spyware, Gator is SPYWARE, Gator manufactures nothing but spyware products.

Gator is spyware, Gator IS spyware, Gator is SPYWARE, Gator manufactures nothing but spyware products.

Gator is spyware, Gator IS spyware, Gator is SPYWARE, Gator manufactures nothing but spyware products.

Gator is spyware, Gator IS spyware, Gator is SPYWARE, Gator manufactures nothing but spyware products.

Gator is spyware, Gator IS spyware, Gator is SPYWARE, Gator manufactures nothing but spyware products.

Google that ya dumb bastards. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remove Gator software in the corporate environment AND from personal computers of friends & family. You can make claims about user acknowledgement all you want, but the bottom line is Gator develops, sells and regurgitates spyware. It’s a shitty product built by a shitty company with unethical business practices. Same goes for WhenU.com the pricks.

Alrighty, lunchtime is over.

Movie Review – Kill Bill

The Plot - Ambushed on her wedding day, the assassin once known as Black Mamba is betrayed by the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad headed by Bill. Severely beaten “The Bride” barely mutters to Bill the baby is his before he shoots her in the head.

The story picks up four years later as “The Bride” goes on her quest for revenge. Those that betrayed her will die starting with O-Ren Ishii (Cottonmouth), then Vernita Green (Copperhead), Budd (Sidewinder) would be next while particular attention would be paid to Elle Driver (California Mountain Snake) and last would be Bill.

Kill Bill is a revenge movie plain & simple… or is it?

The Review - By now a lot of folks may have already seen the movie or at least heard that it’s classic Tarantino and violently bloody x 100. Mr. McGee does an excellent job talking about the morality of this film and noting the nods given to previous Tarantino flicks (I thought I was the only one who noticed the “Red Apple” cigarettes). Mr. Perry points out one of the most appealing aspects of a Tarantino film – the soundtrack. As a former musician, I would agree that nobody can weave music into films so well.

Rather than post redundant kudos about the film I wanted to focus on some items only a martial arts film enthusiast like myself might know (Mr. Perry caught the Game of Death tribute). Everyone touched on the level of violence in the film and much has been made about limbs being severed and the very graphic blood spattering scenes. I can’t help but think those scenes were inspired by the movie Shogun Assassin which came out around 1980 and was banned from theatres. Also a revenge film, that movie portrayed a fallen Samurai “Lone Wolf” who traveled the countryside with his son exacting revenge on the Shogun lord who ordered his family killed. If you loved Kill Bill I highly recommend you try and watch this film. (I’ll probably watch it again this weekend just to see if Kill Bill had more gore).

Did anyone else get excited when they saw the names Sonny Chiba (he plays Hattori Hanzo) & Gordon Liu (he plays Johnny Mo) show up in the beginning credits? They were the recurring heroes when I was a kid watching “Kung Fu Theatre” with my mom after Saturday Night Live. Detroit natives might remember when radio DJ Jim Harper dressed up as Charlie Rum to host some of the best chop-sockey flicks that never starred Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee. There was the infamous Street Fighter series starring Sonny Chiba and Gordon Liu did a number of Shaolin themed films most notably Master Killer and The 36 Chambers.

I was very impressed with the fight choreography in this film. While you can argue the level of gore was probably outrageous, what struck me is the fights themselves were more fluid. Unlike the Matrix series, the fight scenes weren’t so polished that they came across as stiff & robotic. Without the wirework Keanu Reeves looked like he was pulling off an elaborate dance routine while Uma Thurman takes it on the chin several times. As Mr. McGee points out there’s nothing superhuman about Uma’s character other than her strength of will.

All in all I thoroughly enjoyed Kill Bill. For me it was a nod to all the kung fu flicks of my youth and another stellar epic by Quentin Tarantino. Chad’s probably right though – it’s not a film for everybody. Me? I’ll eagerly be anticipating Volume 2 next year.

Grade: A+++ (Rick was right, this was exactly my kind of movie)

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