Just another busy day here in Dallas. Been a lot on the brain lately (if I hadn’t said that enough) and I think I’m slowly formulating coherent thoughts for publishing.
A common Hallmark anecdote is good friends accept you for who you are, flaws and all. I like to think I’m surrounded by some great people, but truth is I think most people only have a few really close friends.
Recently one such person told me that I had reached the age where I should start acting more conservatively. “The time for risk is over, you’re not in your 20’s anymore.” As an Aries I tend to lead more with my gut then my head. Mix in some tenacity with an overwhelming dose of stubbornness and the result should either been a whopping success or well… me. I’ve been chewing on my buddy’s statement for a while. I thought I had pieced together quite the rebuttal then I read the latest entry by my idol and current BWF tag team partner Ryan “Hardcore” McGee.
While I’m fortunate enough to be involved with someone the points Ryan made about other people deciding who/how/why he should be struck home.
I’m a people pleaser. If anything I’m giving to a fault. It’s a trait that’s bit me in the ass more times than I can remember, but I really can’t help myself. I also tend to have some damn grand ideas and pursue them with every resource available. Trouble is, I’m in my thirties and many of those resources have finally been exhausted.
I’ve been on the downswing for a number of years now waiting, praying, hoping my dreams & crazy ambitions would bear fruit. Statistically, I’m probably right in line with every other wannabe and yeah even my family & friends have been saying maybe my time has past.
Trouble is I haven’t had MY TIME.
It’s funny, as a little kid your parents, teachers, mentors are so encouraging, full of cheer “What do you want to be when you grow up?” sprinkled with “You can do whatever you set your mind to?”
As you enter young adulthood, experience high school & college the tone slowly changes to “Pick a solid trade, make sure you have something to fall back on.” followed by “Life isn’t fair, not everyone gets what they want.” or “We can’t all be somebody.”
Oh it’s been quite the long stretch of badness these past several years, but I’ve learned right or wrong I have to do things my way. I want to realize my dreams, I don’t want to worry about being too old, too inexperienced, too late. I’ve been so engrossed in other people’s opinions of me that I stopped doing the things that made me happy, that allowed me the successes I have had. Worse, I started to doubt my own abilities to do things.
I may be a little fuzzy on future specifics, but I’m righting the ship as of today. (I may just be the next William Hung)