ebb & flow
Sometimes the support you need comes from the most unexpected people. Michelle & I recently announced that we are postponing our wedding which was scheduled for this November. The Cliff Notes version is the crappy economy isn’t helping us out any. Most of you have caught the brunt of my mood here as I’ve drudged up a lot of angst in my attempts to maintain a calm & reasonable persona. But I digress….
My stepbrother Brad was the first person to pick up the phone and call to see how things were going. I would not have been so moved except Brad & I rarely speak unless it’s Christmas. Oh sure, there have been the occasional e-mails every nine month or so, but the Brady Bunch we’re not. However, it was really good to hear from him and I’m thankful for all the supportive things he said on the phone. Lord knows he doesn’t owe me shit from Cheyenne.
That conversation led me to reevaluate a lot of things going on lately. All my life I’ve been a people pleaser. Ron> tells me I’m generous to a fault and it would seem no matter how many times I get my toes stepped on I’m anxious to do it again. My fault for being overly optimistic about human nature. I guess I was waiting for people to rally around me while I was wallowing in self-drama when I should have been dusting myself off more. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I was hangin’ in there pretty good for a while, but there are only so many rejections a person can handle before mental stamina gives out. Instead of focusing on what I wasn’t getting, I should have been searching out what I could get.
Despite circumstances I am thankful for what I have been able to accomplish and typing this entry is testament to the fact that I’m better off than a lot of folks. I’ll try and remember that before I go to bed and tomorrow when I continue job hunting.