gay people in the mainstream

Thank you Dawn. Let’s be honest if I wasn’t reading your blog everyday the content here would most certainly be boring. *chuckle*

Let’s talk about sex. Dawn mentioned her friendship with a gay couple and posed questions regarding courting rituals. I think much of the problem that comes with the acceptance of homosexuality stems from how people view gender roles.

Ask most straight men if they would look at your typical Penthouse lesbian spread and they wouldn’t blink. Two girls gettin’ it on? Most men aren’t turned off by this. It’s erotic, men live the fantasy and project themselves into the photo, video, etc. Somehow two women together can still be seen as feminine. Break the Penthouse mold, beef a girl up, cut her hair really short, throw on a flannel shirt and now that the guy isn’t physically attracted to her she’s a dyke. Personally, I don’t know any lesbians that own “Where The Boys Aren’t 69”. That’s why they call it “Gay For Pay”.

Now ask any man or woman what they think of viewing male porn. For some reason both straight men AND women are turned off by this. Why? I feel it’s because two men together can’t be seen as masculine. If Britney & Christina were caught in liplock, instant chubby for most of the male population. How many women fantasize about seeing Brad Pitt & Tom Cruise having hot sex? “Ewwww!” says the straight crowd. Even in a straight threesome, put two girls with a guy and everybody licks & sticks no rules. Put two guys with a girl and Tom better not be stickin’ it to Brad while he’s stickin to Ms. Thing.

I think people who are gay while being defined by gender roles also have the clarity to see through them. My sister is gay and it occurred to me when she dated men while they were physically strong, they’re personalities were submissive, however, when she dates women she’s not as dominant. I think my sister’s softer side comes out when she is dating a woman.

I hope for the day when there is more acceptance of homosexuals in the mainstream. If you think about it take away the physical act of sex (which REALLY is people’s problem right?) and you can’t logically argue that loving someone, even of the same gender is wrong.

Bestiality – WRONG. Animals have no soul. While God will most certainly allow Fido a place by your side in Heaven, he won’t be speaking there either.

Pedophilia – WRONG. Children do not have the physical, mental or spiritual maturity for a committed relationship let alone sex.

Two adult men or women spending their lives together, sharing with one another, moving towards a common goal… seems odd that anyone could consider that wrong.

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  • Dawn January 28, 2003   Reply →

    Here, here! Providing AJ fodder from the bloggy norm!!!

    Nice post!!

  • Sulizano January 28, 2003   Reply →

    I agree, my pets!

    Although “alternate” couples have to deal with oh so much more than say for example, I (your basic hetero except for some times I’m not gonna talk about here) do.

  • the evil queen January 29, 2003   Reply →

    i agree with most of what you say, but for different reasons. i would agree that ANY kind of loving relationship regardless of gender should be accepted and APPRECIATED across the board. i volunteer with battered women and the fact that many were in heterosexual relationships doesn’t necessarily mean they were healthy, emotionally beneficial relationships. (and for the record, domestic violence exists in homosexual relationships as well.)

    i also agree that beastiality and pedophilia are inherently wrong, but since i do not hold any religious beliefs, i would say that it has nothing to do with souls or joining you in heaven, but because neither animals nor children can legitimately consent to sex.

    between consenting adults, i would say that anything is appropriate and really none of my business…

  • Rick February 1, 2003   Reply →

    Hey AJ….. Interesting topic. In the personal development work I’ve been working with, there is a simple concept called male/female energy. We contain elements of each in our psychology, physiology, and neurology. At our core we a specific gender, but in different situations and circumstances we taken on energy from the opposite sex.

    Have you ever seen a woman in a male dominated work environment such as the executive business world or police/security work? Have you ever seen a male hairdresser, waiter, or make-up artist? Just because they are in that environment doesn’t make them gay or straight. Sometime we ’sense’ that someone is more feminine or masculine….. regardless of their physical sex, but put in the right situation, they can revert to an energy of their physical sex.

    So what makes a person gay or straight? I don’t claim to know, but one thing I do believe is that people control their environment, behaviors, capabilities, beliefs, identity, and even their spirituality. It’s in these neurological level (developed by Robert Dilts or UC Santa Cruz) that our energies shift into male and female energies.

    The levels are:

    For example, if a person identified with being gay, they would say to themselves and perhaps others, “I am gay.” They would have specific beliefs about why they are gay. They would have developed capabilities on how to be gay. They would behave in a way that defined gay to them… as subtly or as flamboyantly as they chose. And finally, they could chose to put themselves in a gay environment (when and where).

    Interestingly enough, at the levels below identity, we switch energies all the time. For example, a male taking care of children or female doing extreme physical activity are simply acting at the level of behavior using a different sexual energy. A male hairdresser has the capabilities to style womens hair. Walking into a lingerie shop puts you in a feminine environment. A female can believe another female is attractive, and a male can belief another male is attractive physically, mentally, or even spiritually. None of those make the person gay.

    But once the person identifies with being gay, all of the levels below identity are affected by this new self belief. What ever we truly believe at the level of identity effects the rest of our neurological levels….. So I can believe: I am a father. I am a teacher. I am a systems engineer. I am a great lover….. and that would affect my beliefs, capabilities, behaviors, and environments. The real interesting identities at the ones that we say in ourselves and don’t necessarily admit to others: I am messy. I am an alcoholic. I am a bad singer. I’m so stupid. I’m not worth it.

    Just some food for thought.

  • PopDog May 19, 2003   Reply →

    Excellent post AJ

    “Two adult men or women spending their lives together, sharing with one another, moving towards a common goal… seems odd that anyone could consider that wrong”

    You would think so but unfortunetly some people just don’t see it that way 🙁

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