Belated Easter Greetings…
Recent conversation with an old friend.
“I love Easter”
“Yeah, I mean just the fun of it all.”
“Dressing up, the baskets of goodies, celebrity Easter egg hunts, the joyous dancing in celebration…”
“And the pink tops, I love it when the girls where pink tops for Easter.”
“Dude, you’re agnostic.”
Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Michelle & I took off to Corpus Christi to see her sister’s family. It was a relaxing (even with the stress of the Spurs losing Saturday night), but unfortunately we had to leave early Sunday before the kids had their Easter egg hunt. Next year we’ll plan on taking time off work so we can stay longer (and I can take more pictures). Speaking of which, new photos are up in the gallery.
So a lot of things have been on the brain lately. Maybe it’s the constant blather on local morning radio or the entries I’ve been reading over at Ryan’s blog, but something struck a cord. What is it about people as a society that prevents us from communicating effectively? At first I was focused on relationships (which has been quite a topic for different folks recently), but after listening to 102.1FM The Edge I’m convinced there’s a bigger picture.
Why is it our emotions keep us from speaking our thoughts at the moment?
When did society as a whole become so sensitive that everybody is compelled to “be polite” and spew little white lies? “Gee that’s a nice tie Dan”, “Love the haircut Elise”, “No honey, that top doesn’t make you look fat”.
When it comes to relationships you can spout the whole Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus… yada yada yada, blah blah blah, but I’ve seen the same arguments from same sex couples.
It seems to me that if you have a question about something (your relationship, your job, a test question) you should be able to look the other person in the eye and just ask. Why is it hard to ask? What horrible consequences come from asking? Why speculate what the other person is thinking or what they REALLY meant when they said something?
I wonder if Dawn speaks as frankly offline as she does in her blog? I envy Raymi the Minx for her “shock & awe” style of posts because vulgarity rings truer than political correctness. I suppose I could have started an anonymous blog somewhere to be “free”, but isn’t that cheating? What’s the point of saying what you really feel, doing what you really want to do if you have to hide behind the mask of anonymity?
Baby, if you’re reading this, I love you. Even though “I hate that stupid computer” echoes my college years when other women would say “I hate your stupid rock band” I know it was late and we should have been to bed earlier. And Jagger take my advice, if you want to know where your new relationship is at, pick up the phone and just ask…
You hung out near Pink Shirt Girl.
I hung out near my grandmother.
You win this round.
“What is it about people as a society that prevents us from communicating effectively?” Our conditioning. Every significant emotion event we’ve ever had unconsciously contributes to our behavior in the present moment. In the realization that we are NOT our past, and that we choose our actions, brings unconscious behavior into the conscious realm….. some would even call this “enlightenment.” The past is history….. the future is a mystery…. but the present is a gift…. that’s why it’s called “the present.”
Listen carefully to the words you use. Even though words only represent 7% of communication (as opposed to 50% physiology/body language, & 33% tonality), words and lanuguage are how we choose to clothes our thoughts. They are the filter that pipe our thoughts through to communicate meaning to other people outside ourselves.
Some people think in primarily pictures and filter there thoughts with a visual slant. When they talk…. They SEE your point…and SEE where you are coming from…. They CLARIFY ideas…. That LOOKS good. SEE ya later. Other people filter their thoughts with an auditory preference. When they talk…. they HEAR ya. Things RESONATE within them. They TALK things through. They’ll TALK to you later. And other people filter their thoughts through a kinesthetic (feeling based) filter. They get a SENSE of things. They get funny FEELINGS. They get WARM thoughts. They EMBRACE ideas.
Communication issues may occur when people with different thought representational filters try to talking to one another. Being amongst a dominate personality/group of a different way of communicating method may stop people from communicating (based on their past conditioning). This is really just scratching the surface.
When do I get more photos of that handsome boy of yours?
Personally, I strive to get past all that conditioning so I can appropriately see, hear & feel as necessary.
Daniel-san has learned a few things over the years…
More pictures soon…. young Skywalker…. A new camera is on deck…. Canon 10D
I wrote about this once too, though significantly less thoughtfully. I think being unable to communicate is one of my biggest faults. All too often I say what I think someone wants to hear or I say something that I think will make my own emotional needs become instantaneously fulfilled. I hate that about myself, but I also find comfort (and maybe an excuse to continue) in knowing that everyone else does it too. Unfortunately, I always run into that one person who doesn’t do this, and I walk away wishing I could mirror myself after them.
Pink shirt girl has my dream boobies. /envy and spite
Dawn is the same in real life as she is on her blog….just a helluva lot funnier!