Recap: Nip/Tuck Episode 4

Ya gotta love the FX Network. When consumers have choices as to which time-slot they can catch a program that’s a good thing. At least it is for those of us that aren’t able to get Tivo just yet.

Last week on Nip/Tuck… Sean berates Christian for not screening patients properly, Matt almost cuts off his penis doing a home circumcision, Christian takes up the role of The Graduate to save the practice and a manic-depressive scares the bejeezus out of us as we wonder whether she’ll stab Grace repeatedly or just shoot her.

After the events of last week I think our guys needed a pick-me-up and what better way to do that then attend a porn party. Woo Hoo! Now that’s mixing business with pleasure.

The episode kicks off with Christian taking a look at a new Lamborigini (you remember the nice acid bath his other vehicle received last week). While taking her for a test drive, Christian attempts to haggle the price by offering the salesman some surgery perks for his girlfriend. The exchange is quickly shot down as the salesman points up at a billboard advertising a competitor to Christian & Sean’s practice. Looks like there’s a new doc in town.

Cut to Sean giving a consult to a young blonde. Watch Sean grimace as he discovers said actress is in the porn industry. Watch as Christian comes into the office just in time to keep Sean from turning a new client away.

Argument ensues. Sean is feeling a icky about having porn stars as clients. Christian lets him know that his sphincter is squeezing way too tight and with the recession any business is good business. Especially when you consider an old classmate is advertising all over town and taking all the cases Sean turns away.

Cut to next day, Sean & Julia in bed together. Clearly obsessing over the “You’re a hoidy-toidy uptight suburbanite” statement Sean attempts to get kinky with the Mrs. He’s quickly shot down as she’s late for her first day back at school. Awkward bits aside, he quickly jumps into Yes Maa’m mode.

Quickly speed through some slow scenes where Sean unloads a bevy of “I’m not uptight” to Christian. He’s also pissed because he thinks Christian set him up to consult a transgendered person to make a heavy handed point how conservative he is. Christian crys “Hey, I didn’t know she was a he looking to be a she” and waxes philosophic on how to properly romance a woman. He then hands Sean a beer tub full of sample porn while he snags the invite to the Porn Princess Ball.

Christian takes Matt to the party (as that’s what men do to cheer up the younger generation) and while Matt learns what “fluffers” do, Christian bumps into his old classmate. Dr. So&So is apparently doing very well despite graduating at the last of their class. His billboards are a hit and after dangling a potential partnership let’s Christian know that while he may be the better surgeon “I’m now the better sales guy.”

(Those that have been watching will understand the complete devastation of Christian’s ego at this point)

Cut to scenes of patients storming out of office as the porn gals are having their own get well party in the recovery room. More arguing ensues between Christian & Sean. Christian calls Dr. So&So to discuss merger.

Cut to Matt telling promising porn starlet “Yo, I fed you that I’m an agent line to get laid, but you were great and all.” to which she replies “It’s okay @ssh#le, I just gave you an STD.” Shock & awe ensue.

Cut to Sean at a county hospital where his transgender patient Sophia is upset because her friend had a surgery mishap. Some moving scenes touching on the plight of transgendered folks as they are shamed and treated like freaks. Cut to commercial but not before Sean gives a knowing look at the camera when Sophia gives up the other surgeon’s name.

Cut to Christian getting a taste of the good life, babes, mansions and isn’t that the Lamborigini he wanted to buy?

Open with Matt reading up on his STD. Julia catches him with her biology book “But you don’t study biology?!?!?!!” Cut to Christian taking a blood sample from Matt in his office with Julia watching over. Christian berates Matt for careless acts of wanton sex, Julia then delivers another crushing ego blow to Christian by badgering him to the point of tears as she lets him know just how pathetic his life has become.

Cut to Sean at the other surgeon’s office. Wouldn’t you know it, the surgeon is Sean’s old professor, the very man who inspired him to do plastic surgery. Scenes of argument & reflection. “You’re headed down the dark path Luke.”

Cut to Sean agreeing that he’ll do a lot of transgender surgery in the future. Hugs. Cut to Christian getting the brush off from Matt after telling him “You’re okay, I’m okay. Let’s go pickup chicks in my new car.”

The episode wraps up with Christian returning his new toy after telling Sean he turned away the porn clients. In a reversal from earlier Sean turns down Julia’s sexual advances to bone up on new surgery techniques.

The Good: Aspiring “actress” dressed up like Britney Spears in shiny, silver catholic school outfit. Matt asking said gal “So what does a fluffer do?” prompting the girlie to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop. Watching Julia lash out at Christian after the porn party. You could see his sense of self-worth just get all nutted-up and crushed. No sex scenes highlighting Christian’s butt (althought Michelle would disagree with me on that one) *chuckle*

The Bad: Hacked off genitalia at the county hospital. Sean turning down Julia after she says “Hey, I dig the porn videos you brought home, I’m sooooo hot right now.” Dude? What were you thinking?

Episode Rating: B

Jason seconds my opinion on Nip/Tuck.