Teaching My Digital Natives to Listen to Their Voice
I don’t envy the constant scrutiny Gen Z and Gen Alpha face today. My daughter started on Musical.ly when she was 7 long before the TikTok acquisition. We talked about it then, and we still discuss it now. If I did something embarrassing, shameful—that I would gladly forget—maybe my school knew about it, or maybe word got around town. My mistakes have not been enshrined forever on the internet. As a teenager and young adult, I didn’t have to worry about becoming a meme.
When you add the pursuit of likes, followers, and constant comparison, I can understand why so many young people struggle with self-esteem and anxiety. Older generations tend to give advice they think can be easily applied today:
“Just don’t care what others think.”
“Flip the switch.”
“Be immune to opinions.”
You might think I expect my kids to act as if they have superpowers, that with all the preparation and talks, they are immune to outside influences. Truthfully, they’re human, and wired to care like anyone else.
As parents, Michelle and I know we can't be the loudest voice in the room. We can't compete with relentless 24×7 media. All we can do is be consistent. Set rules, set expectations, give feedback, apply discipline, and above all continue to support them every day.
So I teach my daughter and my son ignoring all opinions isn’t the goal. It’s reinforcing the habit that praise and criticism are the same; simply information you use to improve.
Positive feedback? They're doing something right. Learn to accept the compliment and move forward. Negative feedback? They should reevaluate their path. Don’t fear the criticism, take what’s useful and learn from it. I don’t want them to shut off their emotions, just filter and sort the input. Because not everyone gets a vote on how they build their life. That's a lesson I hope my kids carry long after I am gone.
“I secretly want your approval, but no longer need it.” – A.J. Wood