Visited Christilina yesterday and she pointed to this forum link. It reminded me of Fight Club and the replacement brochures they put on the airlines. I copied part of the thread here as the forum admins were looking to pull it. All comments below are directly from entries in that forum.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
In case of nuclear radiation, stand directly behind your door, but do not open the door, even if the radiation knocks.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
On second thought, go grab a pint at the pub.
Watch TV, surf the net and listen to music ’round the clock.
Radiation lives in fallout shelters.
On your knees before God smites you!
In case of flames bursting out around door, DO NOT leave it shut. Always open flaming doors.
In this time of war, real Americans eat red meat only! Fish and poultry may be terrorists. 
To get away from a terrorist attack quickly, take the stairs once in a while, fat ass!
Always have your digital camera on hand so in the event you see a nuclear explosion, you can pull off the road and take some snapshots.
“Wash your hands” of traditional long distance providers. Verizon has a new plan made specially for people like you.
I never really paid that much attention to politics. When I was younger my understanding equated to this simple fact: A Democrat in office meant we moved around like gypsies and Dad didn’t make as much money while the family would thrive financially in one place if a Republican was in office. An over-simplification I know, but that was my reality as a young boy.
My ignorance continued into my early adult years and when I voted for Reagan in my first election I did so because I thought he was simply better during the debates. Better didn’t translate into a meaningful understanding of the issues, just his speech writers did a good job and he had more charisma than his opponent. I’ve lived most my life ignoring the issues because honestly they never personally affected me.
Things are different now.
The United States is one of the greatest countries in the world, but I think “we the people” take that for granted. Recently, I have attempted to stay current with the news and much to Michelle’s dismay I do A LOT of reading on the Internet these days. I would agree with Kevin Holtsberry that both sides arguing over the War with Iraq really have nothing new to say. I think it’s as impassioned as the abortion issue. Opinions are either for or against, but neither side will be easily swade. I think it’s great that we are blessed with the freedom to express our opinions EVEN if they are in the minority. However, I worry about our civil liberties being taken away during this crisis.
I wonder how many people are apathetic to these news events as I once was?
I wonder if voter turnout for a presidential election will ever be as high as 70%?
I wonder when the next significant socio-economic change will come to this country or if we’ll step backwards and continue on this Puritan trend?
I think we really need a valid third party to shake up the political structure in the US.
I think not reporting the news is the same thing as censorship.
I’m older than 25 and I agree that today’s generation has it too easy.
I would like to see less legislation and a little more personal responsibility. Laws on reckless driving already cover stupid people using cell phones without a headset. Some people can walk & chew gum at the same time some can’t.
I think this next election I’ll actually vote instead of playing EverQuest all day.
In the stylings of Tony Pierce, a conversation with my pal Jimmy “the playa”:
“Dude so did you hear about Fred Durst & Britney?”
Don’t know, I thought she was with that Collin Farrell guy?
“No dude, like Fred got a piece of that and then kicked her to the curb.”
Ah, and now you’re thinkin’ you’ve got a shot?
“Nah dude, I’m just thinkin’ she dumped him. I wouldn’t let that go for nothin’.”
Sorry, can’t relate, I’m more of an X-tina fan myself.
“Dude, all I’m sayin’ is if you had yourself a Class A honey, why would you go and f#ck it up like that?”
Jimmy let me break it down for you…
It doesn’t matter how fine a woman is there’s always one guy on the planet that’s tired of putting up with her crap.
(For the women out there substitute Britney with Russell Crowe or Sean Connery)
OK, I played around enough this morning. Here’s the new layout. I think functionally it will work better and hopefully I covered all the bases for different monitor resolutions.
Drop a comment or two if you notice any glitches. And ’YES’ before I get tons of hate mail, I did gather some layout ideas from the Mad Pony girls.