Movie Review – Pirates of the Caribbean (The Curse of the Black Pearl)

Best movie I’ve seen in 2003!Damn it all Ryan beat me to it. I concur, this is a FANTASTIC MOVIE! Best movie I have seen this year. Go see it, go see it NOW!

(I’ll dissent from the ranks and say I liked it better than X2, but then I’m a hardcore comic fan)

Tonight I felt the movie magic. I was thoroughly engaged by this film, the acting, the cinematography and best of all the storyline. I didn’t feel compelled to do a book comparison, there was no haunting sequel expectations, I didn’t deluge myself in reviews before visiting the theatre. Ah, this was entertainment.

Johnny Depp was fabulous. Not since Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys or Val Kilmer in Tombstone have a I really enjoyed an on screen character so much. In fact the entire cast had a hand in making the film engaging. The women will swoon over Orland Bloom (it’s Legolas guys) while us gents get a taste of how sassy Keira Knightly can be (I love it when a strong woman can still be feminine). I was very impressed with the special effects of the movie as they did their job ENHANCING the film not taking away from it. I would write more, but I can’t think of what to say beyond giving EVERYTHING away.

Grade: A+ (I like it when I’m pleasantly surprised)

UPDATE – Ryan has even more good things to say over at The Ward, Kevin liked it and it got one Wizbang of a review.

Movie Review – The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Why would I post a picture of Sean Connery when I can post a lady’s picture instead?Well, it was a toss up between this movie or Pirates of the Caribbean. Seeing as Mich3lle had already read the LXG graphic novel it was lady’s pick tonight.

(Listen up fellas, when your woman wants to see Sean Connery best you just nod & smile)

Mich3lle mentioned some reviewers are calling this film an 18th century ripoff of the X-Men; it’s nothing of the kind. The characters are all familiar (Allan Quatermain, Dr. Jekyll, The Invisible Man, Tom Sawyer, Mina Harker, Captain Nemo & Dorian Gray). These peeps were around long before the X-Men plus there isn’t a mutant in the bunch. (Heh, who remembers Richard Chamberlain & Sharon Stone from the 1987 Allan Quatermain film?)

But don’t let that stop ya, The LXG is plenty disappointing on its own. Just another action picture that moves along with loose dialogue and an even looser plot. I admit being thoroughly amused at the mention of other fictional characters such as Phileas Fogg. My third grade teacher Mrs. Evans would be so proud as I did my first book report on Around The World In 80 Days. But that’s where the amusement ends. The movie clips along at a decent pace, but once again I will draw attention to the D+ cinematography used during the fight scenes. The public already knows that the average person cannot move as fast as Jet Li so there’s no use jiggling the camera, using quick zooms in & out while twisting camera shots at weird angles. It just looks bloody stupid. Also night scenes are not the best for fast moving action sequences.

As with all budding franchises they left the movie open for a sequel, but I wouldn’t start printing those t-shirts just yet.

Grade: C+ (Peta Wilson was cool as a vampire chick)

Concert Review – Justified & Stripped Tour

Dallas got one helluva show last nightWell, last night Michelle & I saw quite a show. I have to say Christina Aguilera did not disappoint and I can say without a doubt she’s not a “studio” singer. That girl has got mad vocal skillz. A number of things struck me about Christina’s performance, mainly the fact that she really seemed to be enjoying herself. A lot of pop performers present a certain persona on stage which carries through each tightly choreographed number (Think Janet’s attitude, Britney’s come-hither looks, Madonna’s sassy-bitch style). In-between songs said artist will scream “How are we doing in [insert city name here] tonight?” or something else to personalize the moment, but then the music kicks in and the game face is back on. In contrast, Christina rarely seemed to be “in character”. It reminded me of a scene in Rock Star where Mark Walberg’s character can’t keep from grinning during a band photo shoot. Even during those sultry moments, she offered a quick smile or wink reminding me more of the girl next door type then “X-tina”.

Choreography took a backseat to a strong vocal performance and while she managed to strut her stuff Christina’s dance troupe provided the visuals. Songs from her first album were offered up as remixed medleys and I was impressed by her covers of Etta James. The show closed with an energized version of “Fighter” followed “Beautiful” which Christina kicked off a cappella.

Now some of you are wondering “But Dude, I heard she’s fat now?” I can’t remember her quote from Rolling Stone (and it’s not in the online excerpt), but I don’t think she looked too plump or anything. It’s obvious she’s not the waif she was a few years back, but I’m not really concerned enough to delve into her personal eating habits. I will say kudos to her & Justin for having dancers that actually looked healthy (gotta have some meat on them bones). The female dancers had curves (and I don’t mean aftermarket breasts) while the guys weren’t all washboard abs and chests like Johnny Bravo.

Grade: A+ (Let me say again CHRISTINA CAN SING HER ASS OFF!)

So what about Justin?

Well, other than Punked and maybe a couple clips from some N`Sync video I can’t say I knew anything about him. Sure I’ve heard the hype and read the disses, but I can honestly say I had no expectations going to the show. That being said Justin’s performance, in contrast to Christina’s, was all about the choreography and putting on an energetic show. I can see why there would be Michael Jackson comparisons as the dance grooves were very frontman oriented unlike Madonna’s shows which play like musical theatre. The show was slick and by that I mean the production almost seemed too processed. I’d be more inclined to believe there were some vocal tracks covered by Justin’s backup singers as the sheer intensity of the dance moves would make it hard to commit an even stronger vocal performance. (As a former singer/dancer I have an informed opinion) There were pieces of the show that were very remnant of Britney’s performance on HBO and noticing the similarities in their music that doesn’t surprise me.

It’s clear that the former N`Sync guy has talent, but I’m just not a fan of his voice or vocal style. It’s not his use of falsettos which make him MJ-like, but whenever he sings in his full voice it just doesn’t convince me his weuvos<sp?> have dropped. Now I’m not saying he can’t sing because it’s obvious he can; I’m just saying he doesn’t do it for me.

Moving on the highlight of the evening was when Justin broke into his human beat box shtick. While not the most original it was fun to watch as he stepped on a platform which place him about 100ft above the main floor audience. Add a local Dallas DJ and a great percussive style drummer and you had yourself probably the hippest rave ever.

Grade: B (Justin will be the MJ for a new generation. Let’s hope he doesn’t follow ALL the King of Pop’s footsteps)

I am pop music baby

Show me some XtinaIt’s a good day. I survived midterms at school – YEAH ME!!!

Tonight Michelle & I are going to see the Christina Aguilera (Ryan’s BOTW) & Justin Timberlake live downtown. Looking forward to seeing Christina’s stage show as the only performance I’ve ever caught was the brief medley she did during the Olympics. Catching Justin’s show will be a spontaneous decision although I have to admit curiosity will probably get the better of me.

This is usually the point where most bloggers go into a clich? diatribe about why they haven’t been blogging lately. I’ll just cut to the chase – real life is busy (a good thing) and it’s the summer (also a good thing). Rest assured my writing will not be dismissed altogether and while I don’t anticipated going to weekly/monthly updates (God forbid) don’t be surprised to see me post in spurts.

Movie Review – Old School

Bad bad film, not worth a rentalThe most boring movie of 2003. OK, two topless scenes and several clich? jokes later I was left feeling not so impressed. Now I certainly didn’t expect Oscar caliber filmmaking, but from the word of mouth I had the impression this was at least a nostalgic trip back to the Fast Times At Ridgemont High. The characters, dialogue and comedic timing just falls flat. As thirty-somethings trying to regain some sense of bachelorhood only Will Ferrell’s character was entertaining (getting caught streaking by his wife & her girlfriends) while Luke Wilson seemed whiny (I just want nice girls who don’t like sex) and Vince Vaughn’s character was a poor man’s version of Trent from Swingers (Everyone thinks I’m a horndog, but really girls make me cry).

I’m not balking at the movie because it was predictable. This type of film generally follows a certain formula, but unlike Revenge of the Nerds which put silly characters in equally silly challenges the fight for fraternity recognition in Old School seems pointless. All the gags rely on one joke humor instead of building any real momentum. Even the KY wrestling match was sad as the choice of females was completely unappealing.

“Are strange men staring at your rib cage more than your boobs?”

“It could be a sign of EAT SOME FRICKIN’ FOOD!!!

If you’re looking for mindless sex & scenes with hot chicks this is definitely not the film for you. Vince Vaughn’s wife (played by Leah Remini) – HOT. His character’s cheating opportunity – NOT HOT.

Adam Sandler flicks do a better job of tying up plot lines. Luke Wilson ends up with the girl even though you don’t see them interact in any way the last third of the film. You’re teased with the idea that the boss’s daughter MIGHT be a problem. This could have been a one act joke, but it pops up every time you forget about it and then just disappears by the end of the film. Two scenes with the boss, first act Luke’s a sniveling yes man, last third of the film he tells his boss to go screw.

I’m glad that I missed this in the theatre and thankfully it was a cheap DVD rental. Oh and one final nail before I click ’submit’; I watched the Un-Rated version and have no idea what could possibly have been bad about it. Did I mention only TWO not-even-raunchy nude scenes? Maybe it’s un-rated because the skinny chicks are smack-dab-motion-captured on the front of the DVD menu.

Grade: D+ (Cause some people REALLY like Will Ferrell)