Recap: Nip/Tuck Episode 4

Ya gotta love the FX Network. When consumers have choices as to which time-slot they can catch a program that’s a good thing. At least it is for those of us that aren’t able to get Tivo just yet.

Last week on Nip/Tuck… Sean berates Christian for not screening patients properly, Matt almost cuts off his penis doing a home circumcision, Christian takes up the role of The Graduate to save the practice and a manic-depressive scares the bejeezus out of us as we wonder whether she’ll stab Grace repeatedly or just shoot her.

After the events of last week I think our guys needed a pick-me-up and what better way to do that then attend a porn party. Woo Hoo! Now that’s mixing business with pleasure.

The episode kicks off with Christian taking a look at a new Lamborigini (you remember the nice acid bath his other vehicle received last week). While taking her for a test drive, Christian attempts to haggle the price by offering the salesman some surgery perks for his girlfriend. The exchange is quickly shot down as the salesman points up at a billboard advertising a competitor to Christian & Sean’s practice. Looks like there’s a new doc in town.

Cut to Sean giving a consult to a young blonde. Watch Sean grimace as he discovers said actress is in the porn industry. Watch as Christian comes into the office just in time to keep Sean from turning a new client away.

Argument ensues. Sean is feeling a icky about having porn stars as clients. Christian lets him know that his sphincter is squeezing way too tight and with the recession any business is good business. Especially when you consider an old classmate is advertising all over town and taking all the cases Sean turns away.

Cut to next day, Sean & Julia in bed together. Clearly obsessing over the “You’re a hoidy-toidy uptight suburbanite” statement Sean attempts to get kinky with the Mrs. He’s quickly shot down as she’s late for her first day back at school. Awkward bits aside, he quickly jumps into Yes Maa’m mode.

Quickly speed through some slow scenes where Sean unloads a bevy of “I’m not uptight” to Christian. He’s also pissed because he thinks Christian set him up to consult a transgendered person to make a heavy handed point how conservative he is. Christian crys “Hey, I didn’t know she was a he looking to be a she” and waxes philosophic on how to properly romance a woman. He then hands Sean a beer tub full of sample porn while he snags the invite to the Porn Princess Ball.

Christian takes Matt to the party (as that’s what men do to cheer up the younger generation) and while Matt learns what “fluffers” do, Christian bumps into his old classmate. Dr. So&So is apparently doing very well despite graduating at the last of their class. His billboards are a hit and after dangling a potential partnership let’s Christian know that while he may be the better surgeon “I’m now the better sales guy.”

(Those that have been watching will understand the complete devastation of Christian’s ego at this point)

Cut to scenes of patients storming out of office as the porn gals are having their own get well party in the recovery room. More arguing ensues between Christian & Sean. Christian calls Dr. So&So to discuss merger.

Cut to Matt telling promising porn starlet “Yo, I fed you that I’m an agent line to get laid, but you were great and all.” to which she replies “It’s okay @ssh#le, I just gave you an STD.” Shock & awe ensue.

Cut to Sean at a county hospital where his transgender patient Sophia is upset because her friend had a surgery mishap. Some moving scenes touching on the plight of transgendered folks as they are shamed and treated like freaks. Cut to commercial but not before Sean gives a knowing look at the camera when Sophia gives up the other surgeon’s name.

Cut to Christian getting a taste of the good life, babes, mansions and isn’t that the Lamborigini he wanted to buy?

Open with Matt reading up on his STD. Julia catches him with her biology book “But you don’t study biology?!?!?!!” Cut to Christian taking a blood sample from Matt in his office with Julia watching over. Christian berates Matt for careless acts of wanton sex, Julia then delivers another crushing ego blow to Christian by badgering him to the point of tears as she lets him know just how pathetic his life has become.

Cut to Sean at the other surgeon’s office. Wouldn’t you know it, the surgeon is Sean’s old professor, the very man who inspired him to do plastic surgery. Scenes of argument & reflection. “You’re headed down the dark path Luke.”

Cut to Sean agreeing that he’ll do a lot of transgender surgery in the future. Hugs. Cut to Christian getting the brush off from Matt after telling him “You’re okay, I’m okay. Let’s go pickup chicks in my new car.”

The episode wraps up with Christian returning his new toy after telling Sean he turned away the porn clients. In a reversal from earlier Sean turns down Julia’s sexual advances to bone up on new surgery techniques.

The Good: Aspiring “actress” dressed up like Britney Spears in shiny, silver catholic school outfit. Matt asking said gal “So what does a fluffer do?” prompting the girlie to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop. Watching Julia lash out at Christian after the porn party. You could see his sense of self-worth just get all nutted-up and crushed. No sex scenes highlighting Christian’s butt (althought Michelle would disagree with me on that one) *chuckle*

The Bad: Hacked off genitalia at the county hospital. Sean turning down Julia after she says “Hey, I dig the porn videos you brought home, I’m sooooo hot right now.” Dude? What were you thinking?

Episode Rating: B

Jason seconds my opinion on Nip/Tuck.

Movie Review – S.W.A.T.

She’s one tough chickThe Plot – Collin Farrell is Jim Street, once the top of a local S.W.A.T. team demoted to office duty in “The Cage” as an inventory clerk due to the actions of his former partner Brian Gamble. Street gets his second chance when he’s recruited by Hondo (played by Samuel Jackson) a S.W.A.T. legend who’s been tasked with putting together a top rated team. Shortly after the team is assembled & trained they’re tasked with their first mission. They must transfer a notorious drug czar to the Feds. That wouldn’t be so difficult if the city wasn’t driven into chaos by the kingpin’s offering of $100 million to the person who can set him free. Amidst the car chases and gun battles, the S.W.A.T. team quickly learns the influence of money and that anybody can be bought for the right price.

The Review – I’m always excited to see new films as sequels, remakes and the like have certain expectations you can’t escape. S.W.A.T. succeeds as a high energy action flick. The film kicks off with a bank robbery gone bad and while it downshifts immediately to subplots and character background once we meet the new recruits it’s non-stop chase the bad guy.

The cast choices were a good fit for this film. Collin Farrell is one lucky SOB, first he’s cast with Al Pacino and now Samuel Jackson. It’s nice to see LL Cool J get thrown more lines than usual as he could use a step up from the supporting cast role. Mich3lle Rodriguez will forever be typecast it seems, but I’m all about tough chicks.

<off topic> – Speaking of tough chicks, it was nice to see Ashley Scott for a brief moment. I was hoping Birds of Prey would find better writers so I had my Buffy replacement for the Fall season.</off topic>

The only downside to this film is its predictability. Action film yes, suspense film no. If you’re someone who will be easily disappointed because you know everything that’s going to happen in the first 20 minutes then you might hesitate a little. For me, this film succeeds as the dialogue fits the characters, the characters are interesting enough to move the plot along and generally speaking heroes have more appeal when they are flawed.

Grade: A (Next to Pirates of the Caribbean this is the second best film of the summer)

Must See TV

FX Network The ShieldI’m really starting to like the FX Network. Two years ago it premiered The Shield, a gripping drama series about a corrupt special crimes unit in LA. If you somehow missed this show the third season will air January 2004. (The first season is already on DVD, I’m not sure when the second season will be released) The center piece of this drama is Michael Chiklis who gained notoriety on the TV series The Commish which aired on ABC back in the early 90’s. Fans of the ABC show will be especially amazed by the physical transformation Michael underwent to prepare for his role as Vik Mackey on The Shield. The two shows couldn’t be more opposite and as testament to his performance Michael won an Emmy in 2002 for Outstanding Lead in a drama series.

Now FX has introduced another drama series Nip/Tuck. The third episode will be on tomorrow at 10pm EST. If you’re looking for tripped out summer entertainment this show is for you. The series is about two doctors who run a successful plastic surgery practice in Miami. Christian is the fast talking hustler, so twisted in his pursuit of perfection that he trolls singles bars preying on insecure females for easy one-night-stands and even easier clientele. Sean is a man in the midst of a moral crisis and sinking marriage. The true talent behind their practice, he finds himself disgusted by his clientele and even more disgusted with the man he has become.

Cmon, at least you got a new set of breasts out of the dealWhat I enjoy about both of these shows on FX is neither one attempts to moralize or lead the audience into making a decision. Both shows have an advantage being on a cable network as they can push the envelope more without worrying about the boundaries of network TV. Now some will argue that the shows are over exaggerated and unrealistic, but isn’t that what TV & movies are about? I’m not watching these shows for a documentary research, I’m watching to be entertained. I think both shows do just that, in a no-holds-barred, in-your-face, way.

Besides, I need to watch something until Jennifer Garner & Alias return.

In a time before Morpheus…

Laurence Fishburne is one cool characterSometimes staying in on a Friday isn’t such a bad thing. I grilled up some bacon cheeseburgers, then Michelle & I plopped down on the couch for some cable entertainment. After channel surfing a bit and sitting through pieces of movies I eventually stumbled on to the Starz Action channel. The Friday night pick was Deep Cover with Laurence Fishburne & Jeff Goldblum. My friends, this is a must-see classic.

I first saw this film back when it was released in 1992. Back when the actor who would one day become the sci-fi icon Morpheus was still billed as “Larry Fishburne”. I consider Deep Cover to be Laurence’s breakthrough performance and it wouldn’t surprise me if Denzel Washington took some notes for his film Training Day.

The film is about a young boy who — influenced by the death of his drug-addict father — grows up to be a cop. What follows is the tale of how Russell Stevens aka John Q. Hull learns that all his flaws as a police officer allow him to quickly excel through the ranks of LA’s drug cartel. Put on assignment by DEA agent Gerald Carver, John befriends David Jason (played by Jeff Goldblum) a lawyer who has aspirations of creating the next designer drug. As John gets closer to the top of the drug cartel the lines between right & wrong, cop & criminal blur to a point where John is forced to choose between loyalty and holding his moral ground.

The strength of this film lies not with the plot tricks and a “Who dunnit?” ending as much as the character development. John Hull comes to grips with his morality while his partner David goes from squeamish lackey to a power-hungry drug lord. The casting of the movie couldn’t be better as all the actors are important to driving the story. Notable characters include street hustler Eddie who has one of the best lines in the movie “…ain’t had pussy since the pussy had you.” and Taft a God fearing narcotics officer unaware of John’s duplicity.

Other memorable quotes:

Gerald Carver: “So, Officer Stevens, tell me. Do you know the difference between a black man and a n****r?”
Russell Stevens: “The n****r’s the one that would even answer that question.”

David Jason: “How come I like balling black chicks so much?”
John Hull: “I don’t know. Maybe you feel like you’re f#cking a slave.”

David Jason: “You ever been with two women at the same time?”
John Hull: “Yeah, your mother and your father.”

This movie is definitely worth renting from your local Blockbuster or NetFlix. Even better grab yourself a copy on DVD, I know I’ll be picking one up today.

MTV Trivia – This film introduced Snoop Dogg to the hip-hop community on Dr. Dre’s hit single “Deep Cover”.

It’s all in the DNA

This isn’t a prostate examSo late last night Michelle was plopped on the couch channel surfing when she catches this forensic program. It was called Autopsy 9: Dead Awakening and Michelle explained to me it’s a regular series on HBO (apparently her brother-in-law Rudy is a fan of the program). If you haven’t watched this program it’s very enlightening. It was interesting to see how much DNA evidence comes into play making a breakthrough in criminal cases. I should warn the weak stomached that there are some candid photographs of the murder scenes. Dinner theatre this is not.

The thing that intrigued me is some of the cases were solved over a year after the crime was committed. In one case a suspect was picked out immediately, but an undercover operation took over 15 months to draw up the proper evidence. The crime? A man poisoned his neighbors with Thallium Nitrate (commonly used in meth labs… uhm… yeah… fancy I would know that) simply because he thought the teenage boys were too loud. The wife became seriously ill, comatose and died. Her husband and two sons managed to survive. The man in his fifties, was sentenced to 30 years in prison. Further investigation showed the man regularly held parties were he & his friends attempted to plot the perfect crime.

Another interesting case involved a hit & run accident. The breakthrough evidence in the case? A single hair fiber discovered on the air bag of the crashed vehicle. The puzzling thing to me is it took one year before this case was solved. Don’t know if it was a case of the police work catching up to the technology, but many of the cases shown on the evening’s program involved one piece of evidence pointing the way.

Last night’s episode provided some insight into how forensic science plays a role in police work and the cases themselves were mind-boggling. It was definitely a reality series worth watching.

Oh and in case you missed it Michelle & I did manage to see Tomb Raider yesterday.