Arts/Media | Page 14

June 22, 2003 by A.J. Wood

Movie Review – Finding Nemo

I know what you’re thinking, “How can you be reviewing Finding Nemo when The Hulk premiered this weekend?”

Frankly, the filmmakers couldn’t decide if The Hulk should be live action film or a cartoon so I’m not in a rush to check it out.

Finding Nemo was a fun film, if you find whiny, overly-cautious, pessimistic characters played by Albert Brooks funny. It followed that A+B+C formula, but I did enjoy myself. The story follows Marlin (voiced by Brooks) a clown fish who loses his son Nemo to a hobbyist fisherman because he’s over-protective and well kids need room to breath. What follows is Marlin’s quest across the ocean tackling obstacles he would never be inclined to face otherwise. Meanwhile, Nemo finds himself adjusting to being a “tank fish” on display in a dentist’s office. Tension mounts as Nemo learns from an eclectic gang of tropical fish that he’s a gift for the dentist’s niece the infamous “fish killer”.

The film offers many hilarious moments as Marlin battles sharks, jellyfish, scary-indescribable-no-reference-on-the-official-website-fish, rides under-sea currents, whales and generally struggles with his own pessimistic outlook. Nemo has many ”,coming of age” moments with the other tank fish and proves himself quite the hero towards the end of the film.

If you’re a Disney fan and admire the work of Pixar Entertainment then you can’t possibly be disappointed with this movie. The film entertains adults & kids alike and I would definitely recommend it on DVD.

Grade: B+ (For using plot formula and I’m not a fan of Albert Brooks)

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June 13, 2003 by A.J. Wood

Movie Review – Triple Feature

OK, I put this off, but I’m going to do my best 30 second review of each movie before I go pick up Mich3lle and get out of town for the weekend.

Bruce Almighty
For anyone teetering on the fence with their own personal dogma you just might have a profound spiritual connection with this film. Jim Carrey plays down & out Bruce Nolan who after a string of bad days tells God to piss off. In return God grants him unlimited power and from there the comedy ensues. Amidst the film’s comedic moments I felt relieved to watch somebody else have a crappy day, yelling the same things I would typically yell. Sure the story was predictable and Jennifer Anniston played yet another Jennifer Anniston-like role, but it was campy good fun. Had Jim’s girlfriend been cast as a Mexican I’m sure Mich3lle would have fit the role very well. If you’re an atheist or hate it when movies make assumptions about Heaven or portray God as something not out of the King James edition then this film may not appeal to you.

Grade: A-, will probably buy the DVD.

2 Fast, 2 Furious
Whatever your opinion was of the first movie the sequel stands on its own. Not because it’s any better or any worse, but seeing the original isn’t a prerequisite to watching the sequel. As action movies go 2F2F follows the same buddy-buddy action formula. While it doesn’t have the chemistry of 48 Hours or Lethal Weapon, it was decent matinee entertainment. The movie drags in a few places, but there’s plenty of eye candy for both sexes. Not as many fight scenes as the first movie, but plenty of car chases. If you’re looking for mindless entertainment MTV style then it’s worth your $5.

Grade: B-, what can I say I dig cars & bikes.

The Italian Job
I’ll take Roland’s word that this doesn’t compare to the original. I have to say Hollywood needs to come up with better marketing. Frankly there are no surprises in this film as the previews give everything away. You know some thieves pull a big heist. You know they get double-crossed. You know an elaborate scheme of vengeance ensues. Whether you like Mark Walberg or not, his performance is not pinnacle to liking this film. Another action picture simply for those that love action pictures. Throw in some witty banter, and this one may be worth a Blockbuster movie rental, but I wouldn’t waste money on the theatre or DVD.

Grade: C+

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June 7, 2003 by A.J. Wood

Tattoos 101

I posted this once on a forum and dug it up `cause I’m tired & lazy tonight. The images in this post are of my tattoos, and for all the newbies out there here are the Do’s & Don’ts when getting a tattoo:

1. Don’t Get A Tattoo On A Whim.
Sure it’s a cool idea now, but what happens tomorrow when there’s no peer pressure from your drinking buddies or that gal you decided to impress is dating someone else? Maybe a tattoo isn’t as permanent anymore, not with laser removal surgery, but stop and think – Do you really want to pay twice as much to have a tattoo removed as you did to get it in the first place? Not to mention the time involved. Also is the Tasmanian Devil what you want to show off when you’re 65 swapping war stories in the old folks home?

“Heh, I remember the time I got drunk and those buddies of mine had No Entry tattooed on my butt!” Ooh, now there’s a cherished memory.

2. Ask Around, Find A Reputable Tattoo Shop.
Not all places are built the same. Before you just walk in and say “Ink me!” make sure you know something about the shop. Get recommendations from friends who’ve had tattoos done, look at an artist’s portfolio, check to see if they use disposable needles and have a clean shop. A good shop won’t tattoo you if you’ve been drinking (thins the blood, takes longer to ink & heal) and don’t be surprised at the number of bad shops that are out there. (I remember a chain of shops that were closed in Detroit due to the spread of Hepatitis from dirty needles). That being said I would never get a tattoo done in another city I was just visiting.

3. OK, So You’re Going For It, Now What?
So you’ve found a shop and you’re going to get inked. Have you given some thought to what you want? I did mention that this was permanent right? Are you getting color work done or just black & white? Will your piece be filled or just an outline? Depending on what you choose, be prepared for more than one trip to complete your tattoo. Generally a color piece can take two days as you’ll be outlined & shaded first, then the color will be added after your skin heals a little. Make sure you ask about the inks. Organic inks are not as bright, but some people (myself included) are allergic to synthetic inks.

4. Where Should I Put My Tattoo?
That’s up to you. If you are work or opinion conscious then you may opt for a place that can be covered like you back or upper arm. Generally the more muscle in the spot the less pain you will feel. Anything close to bone, i.e., toes, knuckles, base of spine, will feel like your funny bone is being pinched. As you can see, I’m literally covered in tattoos, but nobody knows as I generally wear a shirt & tie for corporate gigs. I do get weird looks the first time someone new catches me at the lake… LOL.

5. I’ve Been Inked, I’m Done Right?
Nope. Immediately following the procedure you’ll be instructed to keep the tattoo moist. You can use Vaseline or any Vitamin E ointment so long as you don’t let the skin get dry. You tattoo will have an embossed look and your skin will feel like it’s been sunburned when you touch it so you’ll probably wear loose clothing for a few days. (Take this into account when choosing your location as it would suck not to be able to sit down in those capri pants, cruisin’ while your ass heals) If you don’t take care of the tattoo then you might end up ruining what you just paid for. I had a friend who couldn’t stop pickin’ at his arm after having a wraparound tribal done. It looked nasty after only one month, because he scratched it so much that it was uneven and broken in spots.

In summary, some quick descriptions of my tattoos: #1 The face & heart-skull represent love & loss and the dragon symbolizes wisdom. #2 The cat-face represents passion & creativity, the hawk is ambition, the Indian woman forgiveness & the warrior represents honor. #3 This back piece was meant to represent what I’ve learned from past relationships. The dragons are representative of my persona. The image on the left shows how sometimes I dominate the relationship and smother my partner, while the image on the right shows how my partner takes advantage when I’m too distracted by inner turmoil. The wizard was done by a different artist and while it anchors the piece, it was not part of the original concept.

May 16, 2003 by A.J. Wood

MOVIE REVIEW – The Matrix Reloaded

The anticipation of this sequel put a lot of burden on the filmmakers. IMO, with the exception of The Lord of the Rings and T2, there aren’t many sequels you could say performed as well or outdid their predecessors. This film comes close.

The Matrix Reloaded is everything you would expect from a sequel, the explosions are bigger, the villains are badder and bullet time still looks pretty damn cool. The story still centers around Neo as “The One” who will save the human race from extinction. I was impressed with the underlying themes throughout the film as Morpheus spouts hope & prophecy to the faithful against a background of pragmatism from Zion’s military leader Locke. While only a few names are dropped we learn that Morpheus & crew are just one group of many plugging into the Matrix.

This isn’t a movie you can see just once because you’ll leave asking all sorts of questions. The plot has a few twists & turns and while some scenes left me asking “Uhm, why did he do that?” it also had my brain reeling from all the “What if?” scenarios this saga seems to generate.

The Good – Everybody was kung fu fighting. If you loved the fight scenes from the first film you won’t be disappointed with the sequel. The scenes are more elaborate and fortunately the cinematography doesn’t distract from the action. The love scene made me wonder if anybody thought about all the attachments you could connect to those body plugs. Agent Smith to the 10th power. Morpheus wielding a samurai sword, nuff said.

The Bad – Jada Pinkett’s character Niobe. Barely onscreen and not much of a plot mover. In fact, the supporting cast felt just like that, afterthoughts. The movie doesn’t end it gets cutoff. The cliff-hanger moment isn’t really a surprise, but when the credits started rolling I was like “What the hell?” The Twins as an appetizer instead of the main course.

Overall – It was hard to go into this film without any expectations. I was annoyed that the previews highlighted some of the best scenes (really can the marketing people STOP doing that?), but even so, I was thoroughly entertained. I look forward to the movie being released in IMAX theatres in the upcoming weeks. It’s definitely worth another look. Oh and if you can manage to sit through the credits (which took forever) then you’ll get to see a quick 60 second preview of The Matrix Revolutions.

UPDATE – Ryan has written an EXCELLENT review which is a must read.

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May 10, 2003 by A.J. Wood

Movie Review – X2: X-Men United

My review is skewed because I read the X-Men comics and as such draw direct comparisons to their movie counterparts.

It is my hope that turning comic books into movies doesn’t become the “new thing” as the quality of filmmaking will only turn into a parody series similar to the Batman franchise. My expectations for this sequel weren’t too high as I knew there would be an introduction of newer characters on top of the ones we already met in the last film. I think this point lends itself to the weakness in the X-Men movies – how do you make an engaging plot while throwing in a new mutant around every corner? Characters already familiar to fans of the comic book showed up in quick 30 second sequences. Others like Colossus actually received a few sentences of dialogue only to disappear for the rest of the film. (I left the movie asking where all the extra children went)

There were several pieces to the movie that only those who read the comic book would pick up (all the ?ber-geeks are yelling it’s Jean Grey you fools). It is obvious that they are attempting to build a franchise as there were many openings set for another sequel. Overall the pace of the movie dragged. There were some cool action sequences, but much like Mortal Kombat it translated into “Let me show you what this mutant can do” The exceptions of course were Wolverine (who I hope to see in his own movie) and I did like that Bobby Drake aka The Iceman received a little more screen time.

(Borrowed from Ryan’s Buffy Blog)
The Good – The opening action sequences with Nightcrawler were excellent. Some decent cinematography for the the fight scenes and his character translated on screen very well. Wolverine opening a can of whoop-ass on the military. Could have been better lighting, but hey you get the point. The family scene where Bobby’s brother rats the group out to the police. Some good dramatic tension for that 10-20 minutes. Lady Deathstrike nuff said.

The Bad – More witty dialogue please. The sequel didn’t have the great one-liners between Logan & Scott. Villains seem to die. I don’t think you can build a true rivalry in the span of two hours and settle the results with somebody getting offed. I didn’t enjoy it with the Batman movies and I don’t think it works well here. Wolverine getting punked in his fight sequence with Lady Deathstrike. Really, in the comic he is so much more the bad ass. Jean’s haircut, nuff said.

Overall – Great movie for the younger generation with an underlying message about racism & prejudice. Comic diehards like me want to see more character development and a more cohesive storyline, but we’ll still end up with the DVD.

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