by A.J. Wood

I missed it… DAMMIT.

On Thursday, October 14th my sister Lesli (of the infamous Ms. Led) faced off against Kurt Block of Young Fresh Fellows/Fastbacks in IRON COMPOSER. This live songwriting competition held at The Crocodile Cafe & presented by the Seattle Rock School tested each contestant as they moved through an aural obstacle course.

One audience member, randomly chosen as the “secret ingredient,” gushed on about his or her current state of affairs (or nefarious past) in a five-minute interview. Each composer then drew inspiration from the personal life-details provided by the “secret ingredient” and incorporated them into an original song.

Each IRON COMPOSER was equipped with “musical kitchens” with the following accoutrements: one guitar, one piano, paper and pencil and one Sous Chef Line Musician. The Sous Chef relayed all information to the house band in parts and conducted live rehearsals with the band on stage. The composers only communicated with the band via the Sous Chef, and had direct access to the band only once, during the final performance.

While most would pshaw at the ease of this particular task the entire 45-minute competition was divided into five nine-minute segments. Each segment contained “Mystery Chaos,” performed by The Interloper (Korby Sears of Seattle School) which attempted to distract the composers from his or her work. As added molasses, each composer drank a shot of liquor at the beginning of each round, consuming five shots in the course of 45 minutes. Only after such consumption did each perform his or her composition.

Needless to say LESLI KICKED ASS!!! Not only did she do the five shots well within the time limit, she had a sixth shot just before her performance and many celebrated toasts after winning. I don’t know many who can write music AND drink everyone under the table.

There are times it really sucks being here in Dallas.

in Arts/Media / Editorial 1 comments
 by A.J. Wood

This isn’t your father’s prom date…

Today’s current event isn’t all that current, but it was brought to my attention as I listened to The Morning Edge on the drive to work this morning. In February a 12yr old girl was beaten into a coma simply for being kissed by a boy at someone else’s birthday party. The news story quotes the mother as having told her daughter to “handle her business” at which point the violence ensued. Teenagers & adults at the party kicked the girl into unconsciousness (what kind of chaperones were they?).

Girl violence is nothing new, but I must admit I’m not sure if I find it all that appealing. Don’t get me wrong, I have an appreciation for strong, fiercely independent females (just ask Michelle). I enjoy Alias and thought Buffy was a kickass heroine, but is aggressive behavior something we should encourage from women?

Maybe I should organize my thoughts better before I continue. I know I’m generalizing quite a bit, but girls historically are known for their psychological methods of dealing angst & woe. Girls quite frankly can be mean and while guys can attempt to be mean, we are clumsy amateurs when compared to the deft skill women have developed. An art form not unlike the “Five Finger Exploding Heart Technique” there is a reason why hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned.

I hate to resort to the “back in my day” scenario, but girl fights were always more vicious than guy fights growing up. Most guy fights were about immediate pain and a quick display of macho-chest-beating. Girl fights in contrast were about complete & total annihilation. It wasn’t a good girl fight unless somebody had a fistful of clumped hair and an eye gouged out. Of course, nobody brought a handgun to a knife fight back then either.

Not sure what happened to my point, but I guess I never expected a movie like Mean Girls to be considered educational material.

in Editorial / News 6 comments
 by A.J. Wood

Moron of the week

Here’s a late night post because Lord only knows how busy I’ll be tomorrow. Before I recant today’s events a small round of applause as I managed to get all the old entries reloaded. There’s still a bit of reformatting & relinking that needs to be done (a new MT database means all the individual entries have new names), but I’m crossing my fingers in hopes that this is THE LAST TIME I’ll have to reload the database. I’m thinkin’ of adding a new category or at least trying to better arrange existing categories. I’ll leave it to you to decide who was the bigger moron today:

Moron #1 – If there’s one thing Azarok fans know it’s that yours truly ABSOLUTELY cannot tolerate animal abuse. Rest assured if I ever visit the Nashville and stumble upon Chad Crawford I’ll be sure to drop kick his ass. Apparently Chad and his friends thought it would be entertaining to punt somebody’s pet terrier. Way to go Chad, killin’ small animals is the true test of manhood. Schmuck.

Moron #2 – OK, maybe this is my pet peeve, but what is up with people in Dallas talkin’ on their cell phones while they take a crap? This morning I walked into the restroom to wash my hands after scarfing a breakfast croissant and some yummy cini-minis and there’s a guy in full conversation while squeezin’ out some raisinets. Every few seconds he would pause and make a muffled grunt. Not one to pass up an opportunity I stepped into the next stall and flushed the toilet. The guy then tried to cover up for the noise and muttered something about being in a public place. That’s when I banged on his door and said “Hey buddy, you finished yet? The other toilet is backed up.” Heh heh, I’m such a stinker.

UPDATE 11:47PM – After months trying to make it as a dancer in LA you get a call to sub for a friend on the Tonight Show. William Hung needs someone to shake a little tail feather with him. What do you do? What. Do. You. Do? That guy either exudes an extreme amount of confidence or is the textbook example of “Ignorance is Bliss”.

in Editorial / News 2 comments
 by A.J. Wood

Survey says “Tone it down buddy”

Just another busy day here in Dallas. Been a lot on the brain lately (if I hadn’t said that enough) and I think I’m slowly formulating coherent thoughts for publishing.

A common Hallmark anecdote is good friends accept you for who you are, flaws and all. I like to think I’m surrounded by some great people, but truth is I think most people only have a few really close friends.

Recently one such person told me that I had reached the age where I should start acting more conservatively. “The time for risk is over, you’re not in your 20’s anymore.” As an Aries I tend to lead more with my gut then my head. Mix in some tenacity with an overwhelming dose of stubbornness and the result should either been a whopping success or well… me. I’ve been chewing on my buddy’s statement for a while. I thought I had pieced together quite the rebuttal then I read the latest entry by my idol and current BWF tag team partner Ryan “Hardcore” McGee.

While I’m fortunate enough to be involved with someone the points Ryan made about other people deciding who/how/why he should be struck home.

I’m a people pleaser. If anything I’m giving to a fault. It’s a trait that’s bit me in the ass more times than I can remember, but I really can’t help myself. I also tend to have some damn grand ideas and pursue them with every resource available. Trouble is, I’m in my thirties and many of those resources have finally been exhausted.

I’ve been on the downswing for a number of years now waiting, praying, hoping my dreams & crazy ambitions would bear fruit. Statistically, I’m probably right in line with every other wannabe and yeah even my family & friends have been saying maybe my time has past.

Trouble is I haven’t had MY TIME.

It’s funny, as a little kid your parents, teachers, mentors are so encouraging, full of cheer “What do you want to be when you grow up?” sprinkled with “You can do whatever you set your mind to?”

As you enter young adulthood, experience high school & college the tone slowly changes to “Pick a solid trade, make sure you have something to fall back on.” followed by “Life isn’t fair, not everyone gets what they want.” or “We can’t all be somebody.”

Oh it’s been quite the long stretch of badness these past several years, but I’ve learned right or wrong I have to do things my way. I want to realize my dreams, I don’t want to worry about being too old, too inexperienced, too late. I’ve been so engrossed in other people’s opinions of me that I stopped doing the things that made me happy, that allowed me the successes I have had. Worse, I started to doubt my own abilities to do things.

I may be a little fuzzy on future specifics, but I’m righting the ship as of today. (I may just be the next William Hung)

in Editorial 3 comments
 by A.J. Wood

Friday funnies…

Ryan “Hardcore” McGee is going for the Most Humorous Blog title today.I don’t know which was funnier his assessment of Britney’s waning career or the fact that she makes Justin look like one smart guy. I chuckled at this comment, “Can we just accuse Nicole Ritchie of starting mad cow disease and be done with her?” He also ponders the question “Do strip clubs have gift certificates? If so, what would be the process to redeem them? I think about these things.”

In answer to that question, it’s called a VIP membership. Anyone makes it to Dallas and I’ll hook you up.

Speaking of Britney, looks like Rob got himself another exclusive interview. And Paul managed to get the picture.

Alrighty, I’m off to work now.

in Editorial 1 comments