Movie Review – S.W.A.T.

She’s one tough chickThe Plot – Collin Farrell is Jim Street, once the top of a local S.W.A.T. team demoted to office duty in “The Cage” as an inventory clerk due to the actions of his former partner Brian Gamble. Street gets his second chance when he’s recruited by Hondo (played by Samuel Jackson) a S.W.A.T. legend who’s been tasked with putting together a top rated team. Shortly after the team is assembled & trained they’re tasked with their first mission. They must transfer a notorious drug czar to the Feds. That wouldn’t be so difficult if the city wasn’t driven into chaos by the kingpin’s offering of $100 million to the person who can set him free. Amidst the car chases and gun battles, the S.W.A.T. team quickly learns the influence of money and that anybody can be bought for the right price.

The Review – I’m always excited to see new films as sequels, remakes and the like have certain expectations you can’t escape. S.W.A.T. succeeds as a high energy action flick. The film kicks off with a bank robbery gone bad and while it downshifts immediately to subplots and character background once we meet the new recruits it’s non-stop chase the bad guy.

The cast choices were a good fit for this film. Collin Farrell is one lucky SOB, first he’s cast with Al Pacino and now Samuel Jackson. It’s nice to see LL Cool J get thrown more lines than usual as he could use a step up from the supporting cast role. Mich3lle Rodriguez will forever be typecast it seems, but I’m all about tough chicks.

<off topic> – Speaking of tough chicks, it was nice to see Ashley Scott for a brief moment. I was hoping Birds of Prey would find better writers so I had my Buffy replacement for the Fall season.</off topic>

The only downside to this film is its predictability. Action film yes, suspense film no. If you’re someone who will be easily disappointed because you know everything that’s going to happen in the first 20 minutes then you might hesitate a little. For me, this film succeeds as the dialogue fits the characters, the characters are interesting enough to move the plot along and generally speaking heroes have more appeal when they are flawed.

Grade: A (Next to Pirates of the Caribbean this is the second best film of the summer)

Lasik Doesn’t Work For Everybody

I wouldn’t recommend Lasik to anybodyClear Channel radio stations sure have cornered the market on repetitive mantra advertising. It doesn’t matter if I listen to a rock, alternative, or pop stations they all have their list of products that each & every DJ swears by a minimum of three times an hour. Remember the now defunct Body Solutions which touted weight loss simply by drinking a capful of aloe vera before bedtime? Oh it might have worked IF you made sure that you didn’t eat anything several hours before bedtime either. I was surprised anyone was naive enough to buy the product, but DJs swore by it up until the moment advertising dollars stopped rolling in.

Now the marketing machine has gotten behind Lasik surgery. I’m not bothered much by celebrity endorsements; what really ticks me off are the local radio endorsements:

“I went to Dr. So&So and he was great. The procedure was totally painless, I had no complications and I had 20/20 vision that same evening. I know some people are worried about the risks associated with Lasik, but it’s really a common procedure now. My life is soooooooo much better after Lasik.”


Let’s get one thing straight, LASIK SURGERY IS NOT ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR A HAPPY WELL-ADJUSTED LIFE. Do yourself a favor if you’re thinking about taking the plunge go read the horror stories at Lasik Disaster & Surgical Eyes. Some might argue there’s only a small percentage of folks that have experienced complications, well consider me part of the minority. Take a look at that eye chart. The right side is how I view the world EVERYDAY. Here are more examples of how Lasik has “improved” my vision.

Read More

Must See TV

FX Network The ShieldI’m really starting to like the FX Network. Two years ago it premiered The Shield, a gripping drama series about a corrupt special crimes unit in LA. If you somehow missed this show the third season will air January 2004. (The first season is already on DVD, I’m not sure when the second season will be released) The center piece of this drama is Michael Chiklis who gained notoriety on the TV series The Commish which aired on ABC back in the early 90’s. Fans of the ABC show will be especially amazed by the physical transformation Michael underwent to prepare for his role as Vik Mackey on The Shield. The two shows couldn’t be more opposite and as testament to his performance Michael won an Emmy in 2002 for Outstanding Lead in a drama series.

Now FX has introduced another drama series Nip/Tuck. The third episode will be on tomorrow at 10pm EST. If you’re looking for tripped out summer entertainment this show is for you. The series is about two doctors who run a successful plastic surgery practice in Miami. Christian is the fast talking hustler, so twisted in his pursuit of perfection that he trolls singles bars preying on insecure females for easy one-night-stands and even easier clientele. Sean is a man in the midst of a moral crisis and sinking marriage. The true talent behind their practice, he finds himself disgusted by his clientele and even more disgusted with the man he has become.

Cmon, at least you got a new set of breasts out of the dealWhat I enjoy about both of these shows on FX is neither one attempts to moralize or lead the audience into making a decision. Both shows have an advantage being on a cable network as they can push the envelope more without worrying about the boundaries of network TV. Now some will argue that the shows are over exaggerated and unrealistic, but isn’t that what TV & movies are about? I’m not watching these shows for a documentary research, I’m watching to be entertained. I think both shows do just that, in a no-holds-barred, in-your-face, way.

Besides, I need to watch something until Jennifer Garner & Alias return.

In a time before Morpheus…

Laurence Fishburne is one cool characterSometimes staying in on a Friday isn’t such a bad thing. I grilled up some bacon cheeseburgers, then Michelle & I plopped down on the couch for some cable entertainment. After channel surfing a bit and sitting through pieces of movies I eventually stumbled on to the Starz Action channel. The Friday night pick was Deep Cover with Laurence Fishburne & Jeff Goldblum. My friends, this is a must-see classic.

I first saw this film back when it was released in 1992. Back when the actor who would one day become the sci-fi icon Morpheus was still billed as “Larry Fishburne”. I consider Deep Cover to be Laurence’s breakthrough performance and it wouldn’t surprise me if Denzel Washington took some notes for his film Training Day.

The film is about a young boy who — influenced by the death of his drug-addict father — grows up to be a cop. What follows is the tale of how Russell Stevens aka John Q. Hull learns that all his flaws as a police officer allow him to quickly excel through the ranks of LA’s drug cartel. Put on assignment by DEA agent Gerald Carver, John befriends David Jason (played by Jeff Goldblum) a lawyer who has aspirations of creating the next designer drug. As John gets closer to the top of the drug cartel the lines between right & wrong, cop & criminal blur to a point where John is forced to choose between loyalty and holding his moral ground.

The strength of this film lies not with the plot tricks and a “Who dunnit?” ending as much as the character development. John Hull comes to grips with his morality while his partner David goes from squeamish lackey to a power-hungry drug lord. The casting of the movie couldn’t be better as all the actors are important to driving the story. Notable characters include street hustler Eddie who has one of the best lines in the movie “…ain’t had pussy since the pussy had you.” and Taft a God fearing narcotics officer unaware of John’s duplicity.

Other memorable quotes:

Gerald Carver: “So, Officer Stevens, tell me. Do you know the difference between a black man and a n****r?”
Russell Stevens: “The n****r’s the one that would even answer that question.”

David Jason: “How come I like balling black chicks so much?”
John Hull: “I don’t know. Maybe you feel like you’re f#cking a slave.”

David Jason: “You ever been with two women at the same time?”
John Hull: “Yeah, your mother and your father.”

This movie is definitely worth renting from your local Blockbuster or NetFlix. Even better grab yourself a copy on DVD, I know I’ll be picking one up today.

MTV Trivia – This film introduced Snoop Dogg to the hip-hop community on Dr. Dre’s hit single “Deep Cover”.

Enjoy Your Weekend!

Photo by Teflon Candy Productions, taken for the 2Bones Lake Shoot“Whenever I leave a country bar and I see a truck that says 4×4 on the side, I always paint in = XVI


Last week I got cut off on the highway driving to school. I noticed a bumper sticker on the back of the car which read “WWJD”. Now I’ve only seen merchandise like that here in Texas. Apparently WWJD stands for “What Would Jesus Do?”

I’m thinkin’ Jesus wouldn’t be driving like an @ssh#le cuttin’ people off in his Lexus.


Don’t you hate it when you flip somebody off and then you get stuck next to them at the stoplight? (care of comedian Dean Lewis)


I’ve been reading the ex-girlfriend stories over at The Ward this week and I was surprised when Ryan said he dated two girls back-to-back that had the same name. I mean what are the odds that you’d go out with two people who answered to Crazy Ass Bitch?

They even spelled it the same way.


So yesterday my buddy Knoll got pulled over doing 85mph in a 55 zone. As it was the end of the trooper’s shift he told my pal that if he could come up with a decent excuse for speeding the trooper would let him off with a warning.

Knoll said “Last weekend my girlfriend ran off with a policeman and I thought you were that guy trying to give her back.”


All jokes shamelessly stolen from comedians Chuck Cason & Dean Lewis.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

2Bones Lake Shoot | MadPony Karma | Cool Ladies x3