You Want The Best, You Got The Best…

Heh, it’s nice to know that the e-mails I get from readers are all the things I’m not doing on the website. Where’s the Nip/Tuck recaps? How come you haven’t reviewed The Rundown or School of Rock yet?

Well blog fans, this weekend I didn’t get to do any of those things because Michelle & I were in San Antonio watching Aerosmith & KISS in concert. CAN YOU SAY THE MOST AWESOME F#CKIN’ SHOW EVER?!?!???!

The last time I saw Aerosmith & KISS was in Detroit, I think it was `96 or `97. I had the pleasure of catching KISS kick off a reunion tour at Tiger Stadium and I took my best bud Ron to see Aerosmith at The Palace in Auburn Hills. Individually the energy of those performances was amazing and when the opportunity came around to see both bands in one night… well… yours truly is thankful for having so many American Express Rewards points. At $135 a ticket, I was happy that I didn’t have to make any morally questionable decisions on how to raise the cash.

<off topic> – All the concerts attended this year have been due to the outstanding AMEX points program. If you only get yourself one credit card, make sure you get the AMEX. Might not be accepted everywhere, but the credit protection & rewards can’t be beat.</off topic>

San Antonio has become our concert city of choice, specifically outdoor concerts. There is an outdoor venue in Dallas, but it has outlived its usefulness in my opinion. The sound quality, size and seating of the amphitheater in San Antonio can’t be beat. There really isn’t a bad seat in the house and Michelle & I have been fortunate enough to get tickets in the front row of the 200 or 300 sections. Oops, I’m rambling off topic again.

All I can tell you is both bands kicked some serious ass. After seeing them in a large arena setting, this was so much cooler. The energy was contagious, the crowd on their feet all night and there was no doubt why these guys are the best at what they do. Because I wanted to share the moment, I tagged off some pictures which are available here. Not my best work, but you try and take covert photos without getting your equipment confiscated. I managed to record some video too, but dammit all if my mini Olympus camera doesn’t record sound. If I get requests to see that footage I’ll post one or two files later on.

Alright, that’s your lunchtime update. Go check out the concert pics and feel free to leave a comment or two. If you have a large monitor I recommend viewing the pics at the larger size.

Personal Ad Dictionary

Today I bring you the first ever tag team blog entry. Like a bad wrestling partner I didn’t give Rob the head’s up before jumping into the ring, but I figured when somebody else has a good topic for a post that’s one less thing for me to come up with. In keeping with Rob’s Personal Ad theme I thought it best to elaborate on the proper terminology used, e.g. SWM “Single White Male” or SWF “Single White Female”. There are many such acronyms today, but an even greater truth is the “hidden” meaning behind common phrases used in everyday language. The following items can be used as a reference when placing your own personal ad:

What Women REALLY Mean
40-ish…. 48.
Adventurer…. has had more partners than you ever will.
Athletic…. flat chested.
Average Looking…. ugly.
Beautiful…. pathological liar.
Contagious Smile…. don’t mind the herpes.
Educated…. college drop out.
Emotionally Secure…. medicated.
Feminist…. militant ball buster.
Free Spirit…. stoner chick.
Friendship First…. trying to live down reputation as town slut.
Fun…. annoying in a Gigli kinda way.
Gentle…. comatose.
Good Listener…. borderline autistic.
New Age…. all body hair, all the time.
Old-fashioned…. lights out, missionary position only.
Open-minded…. desperate.
Passionate…. loud.
Outgoing…. loud in bed.
Poet…. depressive schizophrenic.
Professional…. Class A bitch you can’t afford..
Redhead…. shops the Clairol section.
Reubenesque…. grossly fat.
Romantic…. looks better by candlelight.
Voluptuous…. very fat.
Weight proportion to height…. GINORMOUS.
Wants soul mate…. one step away from stalking.
Widow…. nagged first husband to death.
Young at heart…. toothless crone.

What Men REALLY Mean
40-ish…. 52 and looking for 25 year old.
Athletic…. sits on the couch and watches ESPN.
Average looking…. unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back.
Educated…. will always treat you like the idiot you are.
Free spirit…. would love a threesome with you & your sister.
Friendship First…. as long as friendship includes nudity & a hand job.
Fun…. good with a remote and a six pack.
Good looking…. arrogant.
Honest…. pathological liar.
Huggable…. overweight, more body hair than a bear.
Likes to cuddle…. insecure, overly dependent, mama’s boy.
Mature…. until you get to know him.
Open-minded…. wants to sleep with your sister, but she’s not interested.
Physically fit…. I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring myself.
Poet…. has written on bathroom stalls.
Spiritual…. once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday.
Stable…. occasional stalker, never arrested.
Thoughtful…. says “please” when demanding a beer.

Finally I leave you with a sample ad to give you some ideas:

WM, 33, 5’7“ 180lbs., brown eyes, black hair, likes fast women (of age & conscious), stiff drinks.
Occupation: blogger, rock star, filmaker, tattoos, likes cats.
This thoughtful gentleman is looking for that spiritual connection. Friendship first with an open-minded individual would entertain this free-spirited poet who despite being average looking appreciates the intimacy of an honest relationship. Sun-dipped, sand-toned, Barbie-cut, silicon based life-forms must provide proof of liability insurance. Druggies, self-abusers, psych students need not apply.

Look at me! I can be funny!

Look at me! I can be funny! See, head in alligator’s mouth, that’s funny! Cmon now...Hmmm… it figures the day Rob takes a moment to tell people how super-groovy-cool my website is I’d welcome them with such a serious entry. Well folks, I hope you took the time to look around. I know I did just a minute ago and damn, I think some navigation cleanup is in order.

Overall the weekend went well, although I’m dead tired today. Michelle & I zipped out after work Friday as planned and we arrived at my cousin Wally’s house just before 3am Saturday morning. We probably would have made better time, but we counted almost 20 highway patrol cars (11 stopped speedsters), four highway accidents including a gas tanker that was on fire off the highway. (Yes, you can all scream at me for not stopping to take pictures, that would have been so blogworthy)

On Saturday if Michelle & I weren’t speaking to someone we were eating. Made small talk with my cousin Wally and his wife Baby, ate. Gabbed with my sister Lesli and her girlfriend Steph, ate. Went and picked up my parents at my Aunt Caring’s house, loaded food in the car to take back to Wally’s house, ate. Then we made the trip to visit my Aunt Maggie and the sisters made sure she ate.

I’m not prepared to talk about the visit at length just yet, but it was a good afternoon.

After visiting with my Aunt Maggie we drove across town to see her daughters and grandchildren. We crashed a birthday party and it was amazing to see the changes in my cousins after so many years. My cousin Maya, now with three daughters, I hadn’t seen since I sang at her wedding 15+ years ago. My cousin Amy stopped by with her kids and she’s a grandmother!

And then we ate. I swear every time I turned around on Saturday somebody was handing me food. I’m not complaining, between the crab legs, barbecue, gumbo, crawfish, spicy dogs and birthday cakes, it was all I could do to down some beignets & coffee before we did any drinking that evening. (Beignets are fried squares of pastry generously topped with powdered sugar, yummy must have treats when visiting)

Lesli, Steph, Michelle & I ended up at the French Quarter that evening to get a taste of the New Orleans night life. We didn’t make too much of a ruckus as the thought of driving 9+ hours hungover quickly came to mind after a few shots of Jaeger.

Everyone took off the next morning. My parents got an early start at 6am, while Lesli & Steph headed to the airport about 8am. Michelle & I made another trip to see my Aunt Maggie and Maya & the girls caught us in the room. I snapped off a couple of quick pictures (which I couldn’t do Saturday) and then we headed back to Dallas.

To get a better look at that crazy gator photo checkout the album from the weekend..

This is the fastest entry ever…

Another week set to blaze by and another quick lunchtime update.

(Should I rediscover my inner child or uncover my sanity I will attempt a return to incubated well thought out posts)

Noticed an entry about blogging which immediately spun into why I dislike Blogspot. It never fails that when I come across an entry I wish to reference the permalink is somehow broken or unavailable. At first I wanted to vent my frustrations on the blog owner who I perceived as lazy or inept at keeping proper archives, but more & more I’m beginning to think this is just the price those folks pay for using Blogspot.

Visit this website and scroll the page (or search) for The Ten Commandments of Blogging. I thought I’d throw in my few bits before heading back to the office.

A Successful Blog Requires The Following:

1. Frequently updated content like Acidman. I don’t know anyone who is all over their blog like this man.

2. Your own innovative writing style like Tony Pierce. Often imitated, never duplicated, this master of the Photo Essay leaves audiences always wanting more.

3. Topics everyday folks can relate to, but written in excellence like Ryan McGee. Number one on my bloglist and the reason I strive to post on this very domain.

4. Comments from women who want you and guys who want to be you like Ryan Perry. Few can post about the benefits of oral sex and have volunteers lined up waiting.

5. Cam girl appeal without all the attention whoring & pop-ups like the Mad Pony girls. Not all websites run by young ladies have to include pouty lips and underwear dancing; some actually do well with hip, original writing.

6. Tons of content helps like Paul Katcher. This blog has something for everybody.

7. Posting without apologies like Ryan (The Ward). Having friends & family read his blog doesn’t prevent this blogger from putting fingers to keyboard for your reading pleasure.

8. Finally, you can simply be funny like Rob Wanska. I ever do the blogger road trip thing, he’s one of the first I visit (at Hooters) for a beer.

OK, time to get back to work.